(The Hustings) An event such as this has not happened since Biblical times. This intrepid WAKKED.COM reporter was stunned along with a crowd of 15,000 John Kerry supporters, when God appeared from nowhere (as he usually does) and caused John Kerry's lips to literally fall from his face.
Kerry rushes outside to see if buttox had also fallen off.
"I just got tired of the lies," grumbled the Diety in his finest Brooklyn accent.
Although Yahweh is usually
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an omnipotent being of few words, he continued, "Lookit. It's not dat I hate 'im or anything - it's just day-afterday, on-an-on, fib-after-fib. I mean, Jesus! - can't he just stop lying for a minute? That's all I'm asking. One lousy minute. Is that so much to ask? Even Satan told him to shut up - but that was for political reasons - Carville was on vacation.
"Listen, youse look like an intelligent guy," said The Almighty as he rubbed his makeup off - a regular on Joan of Arcadia, now pulling great ratings for CBS, "Would your mother let you talk like that? Did youse see that debate Friday? I mean, the guy is to throw up for! Not even AAron talked this much -
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what? Moses? He couldn't utter two words without stumbling, Diogenes, now THAT was a talker. But.. ya know, wrong century, wrong religion. What can I say?
"As if anybody cares who isn't in John's party, I'm gonna fix him up overnight. But just for tonight.. JUST FOR TONIGHT.. NO LIPS! OK?
"As if he's gonna notice.
"Oh well. Been nice talkin' to youse, You're a good listener. Ever thought of going into the ministry? O, that's right, youse Cat'lic."
The entire audience of 15,000 was sequestered and will not be allowed to see daylight until after the election, for "security" reasons, according to the Kerry campaign.
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