(Alexandra, U.of S.A.) - A source close to the Chinese Communist Party has leaked to Wakked.com that the Won Hung Lo (Glorious People's Science Facts Dept) has determined the wayward Long March 5B booster rocket will land directly on Alexandra Township, the poorest town in South Africa. The strike will occur (according to Yambo Ululeili, minister for Reflexive Expletives) the 5B or "Pangda Fen (???)", as it's jokingly called, will slam into the Johannesburg Suburb at 10:17pm EDT on May 8, killing everybody.

      "We don' give flying fart where Giant Turd land. Not our fault," said an unnamed spokesman for the department. "Oh... you thing that Pangda Fen funny, huh? Giant Turd is ancient Communiss term - mean "beautiful foundation".

      Our intrepid reporter, Julie Newmar Yen, asked the Chinese Dept Spox,"So, you're not worried about the icky fact that so many poor people will die?"

      "Nope. You talkin' only 200,000 peasants.. and only half are Communiss.. so whatsa big deal?"

      "So, you're not worried about the 1.8 million tourists who will be visiting for the Celebration of Fat Cambodians (an annual festival held in Alexandra Township)."

      "Nah.. fork 'em. They just die.. still too few care about," said the Spox."Won Hung Lo bigger deal! Yay us! We gong win space race, roundeyes! You kiss my great big Communiss Buttox!"

      "Nah.. fork 'em. They just die.. still too few care about," said the Spox."Won Hung Lo bigger deal! Yay us! We gong win space race, roundeyes! You kiss my great big Communiss Buttox!"

UPDATE: Once again, China's Pangda Fen proved to be a failure even as a miss. China's space agency - Gon Bang continues to send Pangda Fens into faulty orbits in their attempt to conquer the round-eyes world.