(The Hustings) In a bold and brave movement, Presidential hopeful, Senator John Forbes Kerry (D-Mass.), today began a campaign to put President Bush in his place:
"This man doesn't have a clue on how to win the war, which I opposed, by the way. That vote for it was just a vote for it. I voted against the war."
Kerry, who is both 6'7" and 6'2" drew himself up to his greatest height to make the pronouncements; "My administration is capable of killing far more American boys and girls than any would-be warrior president can kill! Who does this Bush person think he is, anyway? |
I've been killing American soldiers since the 60's. I helped Lyndon Johnson's & Dick Nixon's ERA's when I killed almost 45,000 with just a congressional hearing, and I can do it again. I was a Democrat AND a Republican. Teddy (Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass.) is right. It is Vietnam and we can kill the soldiers to prove it. And just like Vietnam, we can blame it all on the Republicans."
Then, the next President of the United States swung into high gear, saying, "It goes without saying that the economy has gone to hell in a handbasket. Those almost 3- million jobs just benefitted people, not workers, |
working - they're not really working. And not one job is a manufacturing job! All those people do is make stuff! That's not manufacturing, that's just making stuff!"
"Finally," the candidate ebulliated, "I want to thank God for giving me that special gift which all great leaders have - a copy of Carvel's Cajun Cannibal Cooking. This means that, not only can I kill American soldiers, but their deaths won't be wasted. We can all eat them as we starve to death, because of the Bush Depression. We'll be eating AND starving!"  |
