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Man Sues Howard Dean for "Raised Digit Syndrome" |
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(Berkely, California) - Mustaffa bin Afflach Jaelowraidah, a part-time student at UC Berkeley, is suing presidential candidate Howard Dean, claiming he has ruined his sex life. "I must have clicked over 15,000 times on that damn website, voting for Dean" claimed bin Afflach. "I cannot even use my index finger and my girlfriend has left me." "You know, when Mookie Sobiesky asked me to stuff the ballot box for Dean, I thought it would be a great idea and all, but now I can't even catch a |
cab! And it's not my fault. I feel really victimized now that I have this raised gigit(sic) thing. So I'm sueing the bastard." His lawyer could not be reached, but a message on his machine was playing the "Money" song from Cabaret. A spokesman for Howard Dean, Bolsa Grandanía, told Wakked.com, "SSSSssshhhhhhhhh! - nobody's supposed to know, dammit!" Jaelowraidah was not impressed. Jaelowraidah's doctor, Rajid Vishnuramsaprhamavanda |
Scheiserfilmen, a leading cardiodigital sexologist, says Jaelowraidah could be dysfunctional for many months. "I have never been seeing such a badness case of "RDS" in my entire living career. This boy cannot be straightening out his index finger for nothing." "Yeah!" added Jaelowraidah. Geoffrey Polzhanser, president of the RDS Victim Awareness Society, when reached for comment simply raised his hand to demonstrate just how inappropriate the illness is.  |
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